Now I Ain't Saying She A Gold Digger...

As a rule, I don’t talk about my professional life on this blog, because it really has nothing to do with my celibacy. But occasionally, something that happens to me between the hours of 9 to 5 makes me go hmmm…and then I want to write about it.

If you read this but don’t actually know me, I can tell you this much: I work in the marketing department for an international brand. And on Wednesday, my company came together with the folks at Playboy to film an episode of “The Girls Next Door.”

For those of you that don’t watch crappy reality TV (bless your hearts) the show is about the lives of Hugh Hefner’s three girlfriends. Holly Madison, pictured with me above, is his “main squeeze,” and I had the opportunity to meet her at the taping. She was a very sweet person, and a pleasure to work with. But I couldn’t help but look at her in awe. After all, she’s only two years older than me, and she regularly (claims to) sleep with an 82-year-old man. His balls have got to look like a Shar-Pei.

Now I’ve admitted here to dating guys that were a quite a bit older than me. And I’ve never had a problem with that, age is just a number, to a certain extent. But the man was born in 1926. If I’m doing the math right (and I might not be, I suck at math) he was already 53 when Holly was born. So what in the world could they possibly have to talk about besides plastic surgery and the merits of disrobing in a magazine?

I’m not trying to be holier than thou here. Like I’ve said, the Renegade Millionaire is 23 years older than me, and we get along just fine. But shouldn’t there be some sort of cut-off where the old guy/young girl thing starts to look a little ridiculous? I guess not.

When RM and I were in New York and Las Vegas, nobody seemed to give our situation a second thought. But when he came to Chicago to visit me, that wasn’t exactly the case. Here in the Midwest we are a very practical people. And it’s just not realistic for a man and a girl to overcome such a huge age difference. You see, we’re big on the concept of family ‘round these parts. So how could a relationship like that possibly lead to having children when he’ll be ready to retire by the time his kids are in grade school? I’m not saying this mindset is right, but it is what it is. And when I’ve dated older guys, I’ve dealt with the fallout. I wonder if Holly deals with any fallout.

Is it that, because Hugh’s a multi-multi-millionaire, this is okay? Perhaps even expected? If an older woman dates a younger guy, they call her a “Cougar.” Most guys call Hugh Hefner “God.” So I guess it’s just yet another double standard that exists in our class-obsessed culture. And who am I to argue with that? If you work hard, and make a lot of money, you get to bang a chick 1/3 your age. To the victors go the spoils, I suppose.

An older guy that I once spent time with put it this way: “You’re only as old as you feel….and, failing that, you’re only as old as the girls you feel.” Cheers to you, Mr. Hefner. You are officially the oldest 29-year-old (barely) alive.

xo