The End Is Near

That’s right kids, we’re officially well past the halfway point and there’s only one month left to my vow of celibacy. Thank God. Now I’m not saying that on day 92 I’m going to bang the first male that crosses my path. But I will, mark my words, get my make-out on. And you can take that to the bank.

Speaking of which, I was talking to my friend DD the other day. He’s known me for a very long time and he’s watched me to develop into…well, the kind of girl that needs to take a three-month sexual sabbatical. When I first told him about The Celibacy Project, he laughed. A lot. Then he called me crazy and said there was no way in Hell I could do it. And then he laughed some more. DD is kind of an asshole.

But now, he’s eating his words. He actually admitted to me that he’s glad he didn’t bet against me. I think that I’ve managed to convince myself, and most of you, that I can do this. I’m committed to the experience and I’m actually getting used to the idea of a vacant vagina. As weird as it was at first, it’s kind of nice living without the stress of wondering if and when a boy that I like is going to text me. So really, one more month is not that big of a deal. In fact, it’s no longer a matter of if I can do it…the real question is, how’s it going to end?

Is all of this soul-searching going to foster a new Allie Era, in which I place a much higher value on the act of intercourse and abstain from it until I’ve found someone special to break my celibacy with? Or will this be little more than a footnote in my life and I’ll go back to my old cum-guzzling-road-whore days? Sorry, self, I just love that expression. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know.

I would like to think that this experience has changed me for the better, but I also don’t want to have to eat my own words someday. So for the time being, I’m going to avoid making any sort of declarative statement either way. Here’s what I do know. My outlook on relationships has changed. As much as I wish that when this ends, I’ll meet the perfect guy and live happily ever after, that’s not realistic. I can admit that I've fallen too far, too fast, way too easily and I want that – no, I need that – to change. But more likely than not, I’m still going to have to kiss a couple of frogs to find my prince. It’s the fellating multiple frogs that I’m really going to try to avoid for a while. I want to pace myself this time around. There’s no reason for me to be dating six guys at once. That’s generally what I’ve done in the past and I have since realized that in doing so, I was attempting to take the best things about each and combine them to convince myself that I was with one perfect guy. It doesn’t work that way. I’d rather wait and find the right dude than keep accepting free dinner invitations to pass the time. So while I cannot say, unequivocally, that I’m not going sleep with somebody on July 2nd (as much as I’d like to) I can say that I won’t fall in love with anybody that day.

And that is not crazy, DD. That’s progress.

xo