The Silver Lining To Singledom

Last night, I was supposed to see my friend ZW. He was flying in from California, but due to the weather his plane got diverted to Nebraska. It wasn’t his fault, but he still felt really bad. He even tried to make it up to me by sending me funny texts about what it was like to be a lone Jew in an Omaha biker bar. Entertaining stuff, but I was still pretty bummed. It was 10:00pm on a Friday night, and I had nothing to do. It’s times like that when I really miss having a boyfriend. At least, I do for a little while. Then I remind myself that if I had one, and he was anything like the other guys I’ve dated, I wouldn’t have been able to hang out with a male friend like ZW anyways. If I were still with The Ex, for example, that sort of thing never would have flied, simply because ZW and I had only recently reconnected.

In relationships, when it comes to outside friends who happen to be members of the opposite sex, there seems to be a "grandfather clause” in effect. That means if one of you knew the person before you started dating each other, that’s okay, but there will still have to be an introduction, which is really more of an evaluation. As long as your friend isn’t hotter than your partner, and the two of you don’t give off a “we’ve totally fucked” vibe, then you’re generally allowed to keep hanging out with them.

However…coming home one day and telling your girlfriend that you “met this awesome chick and we’re going to have drinks tomorrow” is NOT acceptable. Nor should it be. It’s important to have friends of both genders from your past, and it is reasonable for you to expect your significant other to respect that. But once you become a serious couple, you sort of (or, in my opinion, you should) become eachother’s best friends. So there’s no need to add any new opposite sex friendships to your repertoire, unless he or she is part of a couple that you then hang out with together. At least, that’s the way I see it.

Of course, homosexuals, like My New Gay Friend, can complicate the issue. The Ex flipped the fuck out when I almost made a gay friend a few years ago. That didn’t make any sense to me. Yeah, it’s a boy, but it’s a boy with whom I can go shopping, watch chick flicks, and obsess over The Hills. The Ex wanted nothing to do with any of those activities. Maybe that was it – he didn’t like another guy competing for my attention, straight or otherwise.

So I suppose, in this way, I’m better off being single at the moment. I mean sure, it was sort of a prerequisite to my celibacy, and sometimes like last night it drives me crazy, but for the most part it’s a good thing. I can hang out with any guy I want to without having to explain or defend our relationship. I can make my own schedule without having to accommodate anyone else’s. Hey, I can even leave my feminine product wrappers in the bathroom garbage can without getting yelled at for being gross.

And - this is the best part - I get to spend a lot more time with my girlfriends. Or, like tonight, with My New Gay Friend, which is sort of the same thing

xo