Let's Hear It For The Boys

On Saturday night I had my first outing (haha) with My New Gay Friend. We met at the apartment of a girl that I’ll call Mini Me. She was in my sorority and was the recipient of the same “horniest girl” award that I was. I actually crowned her in a very touching ceremony. For that reason, she is the first girl that gets a nickname on this blog. Congrats Mini-Me. Keep on keeping on (your knees.)

Anyways…

Mini Me is MNGF’s go-to girl, but she was nice enough to share him with me for the evening. We headed to Boystown, which is basically the mothership for gays in Chicago. The bar we went to was called Cocktails. Obviously.

This was my very first time being in a gay bar. And I am in fucking love. I can’t think of a better way to spend a celibate evening than dancing with cute, well-dressed guys that aren’t jamming their boners into my back. But the best part about Cocktails was the small stage where beautiful half-naked men danced for the crowd. One got up there wearing a cowboy hat, which he proceeded to balance on his package. I shit you not. For that he deserved a five-dollar bill, which I lovingly stuck down his boxers. In return, he let me feel his big, sweaty pecs. MNGF and Mini Me found this hysterical. I was in Heaven. That’s the most action I’ve seen in months.

After that, I stood at the bar and started talking to a very pretty boy. He had beautiful eyes but could barely form sentences. Still, we chatted for about thirty minutes. And then he asked me out on a date. “Excuse me?” I said. “I thought you were gay!” To my utter surprise, he actually gave me an incredulous look and replied “why would you think that?”

BECAUSE YOU’RE IN A FUCKING GAY BAR IN BOYSTOWN.

Leave it to me to find the one straight guy in the bar. I refused to speak to him after that. I have enough straight men in my life, thankyouverymuch.

MNGF cracked up when I told him this, and said he knew it all along. Now that I know his gaydar is that keen, I have a couple guys I need to introduce him to, because I’ve been questioning their sexuality for years.

The rest of the night is a bit harder to remember. I know there were some O-Bombs and Britney Spears songs and that I made it home safely, and alone. On Sunday, I woke up naked on my couch. Good looking out, Drunk Allie. I was hungover, but I was happy.

Seriously, it was the Best. Night. Ever.

So now that I finally have a gay friend (who also happens to be an amazing person) I plan on making a habit of hanging out in Boystown. At least I know I’m likely to stay out of trouble in that neighborhood and I figure if you can’t date ‘em, join ‘em.

xo