Reach Out And Touch Someone...Anyone But Me

The other day I got a call from Hot Doctor. We’ve been texting occasionally since we met, mostly about the blog, because he reads it regularly. But this time, he actually called me. And, I have to be honest, it blew my mind.

Nobody ever calls anybody anymore. Why bother speaking when you can condense your thoughts into a 160-character text? Sure, you lose the emotion behind the words, which is really the part of speech that makes human communication unique. But that’s what “:)” and “:(” are for, right? I wasn’t even sure what to do when it rang. I mean, my friends and my mom call me. I deal with phone calls at work all the time. But flirt-texting has become my Standard Operating Procedure for the last year or so when it comes to boys. I think I literally answered the phone by saying “who calls?” He laughed and replied “you’re supposed to say hello.” I told him I’d write that down for future reference. Then we spent 30 minutes talking about life, liberty and the pursuit of celibacy.

HD actually told me that, despite what he said the day we met, he thought I was doing a really good thing. As you may or may not recall, Hot Doctor is the one that suggested I break celibacy merely to test my creative writing abilities. A good writer, he said, could live one kind of life and write a fictional account of another. I told him “no dice,” but I gave him props for originality. It was certainly better than Mind Fucker’s tactic, which amounts to telling me that no matter what I am going to end up sleeping with him because I’m a girl.

So anyways, Hot Doctor recanted his original argument, and said that it seems I’m reaching a really good place through what I’m doing here. I genuinely appreciated his sentiment, not only because I agree but also because it came from a guy who once stood to benefit from my breaking down. He did, however, point out that how I act as of July 2nd will be the true test of what I’ve accomplished.

So again, we’re back to the million-dollar question. What’s going to happen when things can finally happen again?

Well for starters, I really, really, really don’t think I’m going to have sex that day. All of this introspection has brought me to a new place where I put a higher premium on my vagina. Now, to get in my pants, it's going to require more than just a nice dinner and the occasional daytime text. Perhaps it would be within reason that I expect a guy I’m going to sleep with to respect me and treat me right before we even get down to business.

And maybe, just maybe, I should expect actual phone calls rather than live in fear of them.

Again, I cannot promise that I’m not going to bone as soon as I can, simply because I’d hate to go back on my word. But I can promise that, as of now, I will answer the phone by saying “hello” with confidence, because God Damnit, I know I deserve to enjoy the emotional experience of human interaction.

However...

I will still flirt heavily via text. Old habits die hard. Especially the good ones.

xo