And now for the evening’s main event!In the corner to my right, The Challenger, wearing black pants, at one hundred and……….something-odd pounds, one of Chi-town’s own, Allllllllllllllie B!
In the far corner, wearing no pants, weighing in at an ounce of prevention and a pound of cure, undefeated for over ten years, the Champion of the world, The “Master of Disaster,” Temptation!
Now throw in little booze and we have ourselves a battle royal.
That’s right kids, tonight is my first night out on the town as both single and celibate. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about this. I am absolutely committed to the task at hand, however…this is going to require an entirely different way of looking at things. Ordinarily if I’m out and a guy offers to buy me a drink, at the very least I will talk to him long enough to let him know that I appreciate what he did. And hey, if at some point in the conversation he turns out to be a cool guy (of course the drink, and perhaps a couple more, would certainly help his cause) maybe something will come of it. But now, can I still do that? I’m not being rhetorical here, I’m asking.
If I know that there’s absolutely, positively, no way in hell that anything will ever come of it, is it still fair to accept a drink from a stranger? I mean, seriously, why do guys buy girls drinks? To save us money? Doubtful, although that would be freaking sweet. But isn’t a guy buying a drink for a girl he doesn’t know just a sort of investment on his part, and certainly not a long-term one?
Further complicating matters, is telling a guy that I’m determined not to have sex only going to appear as if I’m throwing down the gauntlet? The last thing I need is to feel indebted to some dude who thinks that he’s rising to the Allie’s Chastity Challenge.
Perhaps I should just buy my own drinks. Damnit, now I’m going to be horny and broke.
Tonight, I battle my own personal axis of evil: good looking guys and Long Island Ice Teas. Wish me good luck because with that, determination, and absolutely NO shots, this underdog isn’t going to end up under anyone. Cheers!
xo
2 comments:
I was at this really hoitey-toitey kind of place, and this assbag buys me a drink. I'm sitting there, waiting to meet up with my boyfriend, but I accept the drink, exchange a couple sentences, and then drop the boyfriend line. He, immediately discouraged, ceases most of the conversation, and I get to enjoy my cranberry and vodka in peace.
Perhaps you should share with potential celibacy-breaking partners that your "boyfriend" (and you could really just be secretly meaning battery-operated boyfriend) really wouldn't approve of you cheating on him. After all, that would be the truth!
I decided to read a little through the archives and read more of the backstory. That is a great line: "Tonight, I battle my own personal axis of evil: good looking guys and Long Island Ice Teas."
And ehh, it depends on the circumstances. I never make a drink offer my opening line, but if you're having a good conversation with someone I feel as a guy it is just polite to buy them a beer, whether or not you have any romantic interest.
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